Suburb Aftermath
By: KP & Carpdogg

This song goes out to everybody who's ever lived in the ghetto
Been raised in the ghetto or even been to the ghetto
Excuse me... suburbs.

Verse 1 (KP):
I got my back flip on, yeah, Star Man
I was Pro Wresting before the ripe age of 10.
Hold on. That wasn't the best.
At night I'd find rest in the chest of my SNES.
By the time I'd finished grade 9
I'd beaten Donkey Kong and Pilotwings each five times.

You thinking life was easy? It was so hard.
Couldn't cross the street without a crossing guard.
After nine days of play during Spring Break
I'd have to stop because my dad would say,
"Go mow the whole yard!"

And everything was so icy
in the Ice Storm in the mid 90's.
Got my boots on so I don't slip and fall.
Didn't want a bruise or a rip in my Jan Sport.
Or, even worse, if I slip and fall hard
I could crack my protractor or my lunch card.

Chorus (KP):
What'd you think would be the aftermath
of a 4 bed split with 2 and ½ baths?!
What'd you think would be the aftermath
of a daylight rancher on a tight cul-de-sac?!
What'd you think would be the aftermath
of a fully fenced split on Westcrest Ave.?!
What'd you think would be the aftermath
of a rancher with a half acre yard in the back?!

Verse 2 (Carpdogg):
Tell me somethin' wise old sage,
you think that aint a cage?
You think I'm not a rat now, despite all my rage?
Like Smashin' Punkins, we'll smash somethin'
You think I'm talkin bout Billy? Don't be silly!

I'm talkin bout real issues in the suburb nation.
We'll take your decorations off your deck and straight waste 'em.
Give us candy or you'll taste 'em!
Y'all better run and hide the family in your fully finished basements.

Tell me if you think you had it hard
You want a fully fenced, landscaped back yard?
You want a Lab mix actin' as a prison guard?
You wanna have a Dad straight trippin on the barb
leavin all your steaks partially charred? 
I'm scarred, my mind is straight marred,
These cedar planks on my fence was actin' like bars.
You wanna a garage that only fits two cars?!
You'd prolly rather catch SARS.

<Chorus>

…this is the suburbs…